


it's like i'm your lover, or more like your ghost

by nosecoffee



Series: my junk is you [9]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Comedy, Dialogue-Only Challenge, Disney, Domestic, F/M, Facebook, Fluff, Holiday Camp, Humour, M/M, Orienteering, Swiss Army Knives, Twitter, Vague Texting AU, lord of the flies - Freeform, netflix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 12:58:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9324788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosecoffee/pseuds/nosecoffee
Summary: "Nobody panic, but group three has gotten lost, so we're postponing dinner until they get back.""John was the leader of the group, wasn't he?""Yes, Frances, he was.""Daddy's gonna die, isn't he Aunt Peggy?""If you'd like, Frances."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'My Junk' from Spring Awakening
> 
> This is low-key inspired by the holiday camp I was just on, including orienteering, trivia, archery, and all incidents with Mighty Ducks Man.

Peggy: I just watched a guy run past my window and swear when he realised he was wearing socks on wet cement. And then he proceeded to take them off and fall over

Angelica: where are you again?

Peggy: with Hercules and John on a holiday camp with Philip, Frances, and Theo.

Angelica: oh

Peggy: he just walked past again in his sad little bare feet awe

Angelica: get it

~

"I have a feeling that this is what a soft orgasm feels like."

"You're eating cheesecake. Also what the fuck is a 'soft orgasm'?"

"This cheesecake is better than any orgasm you've ever given me."

"Get out, you have been ejected from this family."

"On my birthday? Aaron, you monster."

"Fuck you, you even forgot until I brought you the cheesecake with a tiny fucking candle in it."

"Fair."

~

John: *Video Attachment*

Angelica: what

Eliza: OMG

Alex: .........

Hercules: it was honestly both terrifying and hilarious at the time

Lafayette: I'm so confused. Background, pls?

John: it's talent night, and Peggy was gonna sing

Peggy: YOU TRAITORS YOU SAID YOU WOULDNT TWLL ANYONE

Hercules: we lied

John: and she got so nervous because kids are mean and threw up on stage

Hercules: and dabbed afterwards for shits and giggles

Peggy: IT WAS BAD ENOUGH AND NOW IM BEING ROASTED IN MY OWN HOUSE

Alex: my skin is clear this is the best thing to happen today

Aaron: ^ cheesecake

Alex: ^ divorce

Aaron: ^ we're not even married yet

Angelica: ^ currently tired of your fucking drama just fuck it out jfc

~

Hercules: "my phone is in the void" peggy says "I'm a fucking idiot" peggy says a minute later, pulling her phone out from under her pillow

Eliza: OMG

~

Peggy: guy who ran past my window last night in his socks in the rain is currently standing on the playground, holding his phone up like he's Rafiki and his phone is Simba and I'm t h i s close to singing The Circle Of Life

Angelica: GET IT

~

John: orienteering is fun until you get lost and the compass is no help and a kid just started crying it's starting to get dark hALP

Lafayette: how are you texting me

John: I have four bars in the middle of the forest don't ask how

~

Peggy: where are you?

John: middle of the forest, somehow I have four bars but google maps won't load my location I'm ready to die, one kid has already started crying, and another told me grimly that it was about to turn into Lord Of The Flies I'm the only adult here I'm the pilot HALP

Peggy: I've already told reception

Peggy: they say this happens all the time.

Peggy: just stay where you are, they're sending out a search party

~

"Nobody panic, but group three has gotten lost, so we're postponing dinner until they get back."

"John was the leader of the group, wasn't he?"

"Yes, Frances, he was."

"Daddy's gonna die, isn't he Aunt Peggy?"

"If you'd like, Frances."

~

Peggy: john and his group of ten children are lost in the forest and Circle Of Life guy just walked into the mess hall wearing a Mighty Ducks jersey and I know I should be focusing on my friend who will probably be cannibalised before anyone finds him but DAMN

Angelica: more like Mighty Dicks amiright

Peggy: no

Angelica: G E T I T

~

John: I SURVIVED

Alex: CONGRATS WHAT HAPPENED WHy did you think you wouldn't???

John: I got lost in the woods, orienteering and one of the kids tried to Lord Of The Flies me so...

Alex: wow

John: thankfully, Theo stopped him.

John: new question

Alex: yes

John: why does your daughter have a Swiss Army Knife

Alex: I blame Aaron

John: fair

~

John: why does your daughter have a Swiss Army Knife

Aaron: I

~

Hercules: when you find out that your son is apparently adept in archery because he gets four bullseyes out of the four arrows he has on the first try

Eliza: PICS OR IT DIDNT H A P P E N  
Hercules: *Image Attachment*

~

Peggy: it's Disney trivia night, because the whole camp is themed Disney, and if you get a question wrong you're out and currently Mighty Ducks man and I are the only ones left and we're in the middle of a heated contest to win, the prize is extra dessert for your entire group, I cannot let him win, I cannot let Frances and Philip starve, I cannot let the children starve

Angelica: fuck him on the spot

Peggy: pros - solid plan, would distract him, cons - there are cHILDREN

Angelica: be real how much sexual tension

Peggy: I want to rip his Mighty Ducks jersey and you know how much I like Mighty Ducks

Angelica: w o w

~

"Uh, John?"

"What?"

"What is the expression Peggy is making right now?"

"I don't know...?"

"She's like...leering at him."

"What the fuck."

_"What was the first Walt Disney Animation Studio feature release?"_

_"Steamboat Willy!"_

_"Technically Academy Award Review of Walt Disney Cartoons, but in fact the first Disney movie released was Snow White and the Seven Dwarves!"_

"What the fuck."

~

Peggy: I talked him into watching 'Iliza Confirmed Kills' with me after midnight meeting this is HAPPENING

Angelica: what's his name?

Peggy: you know what, it's never actually come up

Angelica: what

~

Peggy: do you know what the man with the Mighty Ducks jersey's name is?

Hercules: .....no?

Peggy: fuck

~

Peggy: hey John

John: Herc already sent me a screenshot no I don't know Mighty Duck's name

Peggy: f u c k

~

Margarita Schuyler van Rensselaer  
11:29 pm, March 4th, 2017  
Guys I need help. *HELP ME FACEBOOK VOID* There's a guy at the holiday camp, he loves Mighty Ducks, he's a Disney nut, and he looks like Diego Luna, but more round-faced. I DONT KNOW HIS NAME, ITS GONNA COME UP AT SOME POINT HEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!1!!

~

Peggy: holy shit he made a sex joke we are sitting in the conference room I cannot have sex in the conference room

Eliza: WHAT

Peggy: WRONG CHAT

Eliza: W H A T

~

"Hey Peggy?"

"Yeah?"

"I've actually been moaning your name for a straight minute, but you haven't said mine."

"I would, but..."

"But?"

"Look..."

"Peggy?"

"AUNT PEGGY!"

"OH MY GOD PHILIP-!"

~

{Peggy.Schuy @MargaritaIn1Hand when u, 2 of your best friends, and the 3 kids u brought with u 2 holiday camp have 2 leave early bc ur nephew accidentally got 1/2}

{Peggy.Schuy @MargaritaIn1Hand attacked by a raccoon bc 1 of the boys in his cabin is a fucking idiot MY NEPHEW COCKBLOCKED ME FOR A GOOD REASON 2/2}

~

Alex: did you fucking see Peggy's post omg

Aaron: about how your son got attacked by a raccoon?

Alex: yes but also he totally cock-blocked her omg

Aaron: why are you more focused on Peggy's love life rather than your sons health?

Alex: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

~

Unknown Number: hi, is this Peggy Schuyler van Rensselaer?

Peggy: first of all, who is this

Peggy: second of all, how did you get my number

Peggy: third of all, yes it is, you spelt my name right, I'm actually dead, omg

Unknown Number: I'm Stephen Bell-Paterson, we were making out in the conference room on camp until your nephew came in covered in blood and we had to call an ambulance

Unknown Number: I got it from one of the leaders off your emergency contact form

Unknown Number: I also read you name off the form so that I wouldn't mess up and piss you off

~

Peggy: HIS NAME IS STEPHEN

Angelica: MIGHTY DICKS MAN?

Peggy: YES!!!!!!1!

~

Aaron: can I ask a serious question

Alex: yes

Aaron: were you lying about the cheesecake giving you a better orgasm than I ever had/could?

Alex: of course. soft orgasms are great, but you're better

Aaron: awe I almost forgot we were talking about orgasms for a minute

Alex: awe

~

{Peggy.Schuy @MargaritaIn1Hand when u low-key have 2 delete all ur tweets and posts about the guy u like bc he's in contact with u, whoops}

~

Adrienne: we just touched down!

Lafayette: I'm waiting for you with John's car

Adrienne: <3

~

Peggy: so hey, what's going on with you and Thomas and James?

Angelica: sex, waffles, Netflix's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Peggy: how do I get into a relationship like that

Angelica: well, I mean, you do have Mighty Dicks man

Peggy: fuck u

  
Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this! If you did, please feel free to leave a comment and/or a kudos, and track me down on Tumblr @nose-coffee.
> 
> Some other notes - Stephen's last name in this (Bell-Paterson) was taken from the maiden name of his second wife. Just some historical trivia right there.
> 
> Again, thank you!


End file.
